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Writer's pictureMadelyn

Doubts and Fears

Updated: May 16

Within the first three weeks that I was at Lee University in the fall of 2020, I decided to step away from what God was calling me to do. I allowed fear and doubt to drown out the voice of God and the call that God had over my life. So, instead of studying missions, I studied psychology until the spring of 2022.

The fear and doubt that I was experiencing ultimately came down to the fact that I wasn’t believing God would provide. I was afraid I would never be able to have my own family, that God wouldn’t provide financially, that God wouldn’t provide community for me, that God wouldn’t provide ways to stay in contact with my family, and more. I believed that choosing missions meant that I would have to give up all of the other desires that God has placed on my heart. I didn’t believe that God would provide and I let this fear cause me to pursue something completely different. 

Around this same time, I was preparing to go on a 10 week mission to Alaska. God provided financially for both a friend and myself down to the penny. I tangibly saw that God provides and He uses his people, the church, to do so. If this wasn’t enough, I was also having dreams about being on the mission field. These dreams assured me in all of the areas in which I was doubting. God met me where I was, calmed my fears, assured me in my giftings, and turned my doubts into hope. God provided exactly what I needed, right when I needed it, and I know without a doubt that he will continue to do so. As a result of all of this, I permanently changed my major back to Intercultural Studies and started to grow in the passion and gifts that God has truly given me.

How exactly did I experience growth in these passions? Read the next blog to find out more!

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